Rebirth of the Dark Lord
by Dynast Grauscherra
Summary: The Demon King of the North is released from his prison. All weep, for hope and salvation have died.


Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers, nor any of the characters which appear in it. Any similarities between fictional and real-life people is purely coincidental, except in the few cases in which I had purposely modeled one of the characters out of someone I know out of vicious spite.   
  
Slayers: Rebirth of the Dark Lord  
  
By Eric L.  
  
  
Two figures strode purposefully through the cold labrynthine passageways of the dark catacombs. The walls shone dark blue, frozen for eternity since time began. Merciless wind howled through the stalactites in the ceiling above, chilling any living being to the bone.  
  
Fortunately for the two figures, neither had any bones to be chilled; nor were they alive, per say. Their astral bodies could no more feel the temperature as a human could feel the movements of the stars and planets above.   
  
"Why isn't Dolphin here?" asked the male figure. He was a young man with long black hair, dressed in black armor underneath his snow-white cloak. Although he had a kind face, his cruel frown and icy stare could freeze any mortal who ever met his gaze. "This is a momentous occasion for our race. Yet one of His remaining servants dares not show up for His rebirth?"  
  
The other figure, a tall blond woman wearing a soft, billowing gown, merely shrugged. "Our sister is not herself at the moment," she said. The woman then chuckled slightly, her long canines twinkling in the dim light.   
  
Dynast glared at his companion for a second before turning away and continuing down the passage. "If I didn't need your assistance against the Gods and their Dragons, I would have destroyed the both of you long ago," muttered the Supreme King in annoyance. "You two are so utterly useless to our cause; wastes of energy..."  
  
"Oh, I thank you for your generosity, Dynast," said the Beastmaster in a mocking tone.   
  
Dynast ignored her and continued on his route in silence. Zelas merely shrugged, muttered something about her companion needing to get laid, and followed. The two's course brought them out of the caverns and into a deep chasm in the center of the catacombs. The walls and floor fell down dramatically for several thousand feet, forming a gigantic bowl with a radius of about half a mile. At the center of the chasm's depths was a single platform, on top of which stood a single block of ice. The block gave off an eerie white light which lit up the cavern, and frozen at its center could be seen the figure of a finely dressed man with long purple hair.  
  
Dynast took a regal bow before teleporting onto the platform. Zelas rolled her eyes in disgust at her compatriot's ass kissing before joining him. The two then strode forwards and approached the block of ice, which was flanked by several of their underlings.  
  
"Report," commanded the Supreme King.  
  
Xellos smirked and saluted like a wise-ass. "All goes well, Lord Dynast." The Trickster Priest pointed out several lower mazoku standing around the ice block. Each held a hairdryer in hand and had them on at full blast. "We should have Lord Ruby Eye out in two shakes of a lamb's entrails!" ^_^  
  
"Excellent," Dynast watched in expectation as the hot air caused the holy ice encasing his lord to melt. Zelas merely looked bored; when Dynast wasn't looking, she took a flask from her gown and took a quick sip of the good stuff.  
  
After an untold amount of time, (twenty-two minutes) the ice was quickly thinned to the point of breaking. Numerous hairline fractures developed on its surface, which began to crack as its weight could no longer be held together.  
  
"At last," said the Supreme King with flourish, "At long last, the Demon King of the North shall awaken once more... Let the world cry out in horror! The time for the rising of the Dark Lord has come! Spread the word! Ruby Eye Shabranigdo is here once more, and he shall destroy all of creation!!!" Thunder sounded in the distance, adding a fearful effect to his already ominous words.  
  
The lower mazoku teleported away to inform their race of the new developments, leaving the two Dark Generals and Xellos alone with the awakening Dark Lord. With a loud boom, the holy ice encasing Lei Magnus's possessed form shattered into a million pieces. The frozen man's eyes shot open, each orb glowing a bright red. The crimson was deep and dark, the color beyond that of flowing blood. It lit up the cavern like a second sun, casting all in a hue of scarlet.  
  
"My Lord," said the Surpeme King, his expressionless voice almost tingling with excitement. "Welcome back."  
  
The scarlet light illuminating the cavern was suddenly cut off when the Demon King placed a pair of cool-ass shades over His eyes.   
  
"Yo! 'Sup, G." spoketh the Ruby Eye, His gold teeth sparkling in the dark cave.   
  
"L-L-Lord Shabranigdo?" asked Dynast, confusion blanketing his normally calm features.  
  
Xellos and Zelas merely sweatdropped.  
  
"Hey, yo! I told ya to stop callin me that, G!" exclaimed the Evil One. "You don't hear me callin ya 'Grauscherra,' do ya? Fuckin' weak, man..."  
  
Dynast cringed. "L-Lord Ruby Eye... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"  
  
"That's what I'd like to know," muttered Zelas under her breath.  
  
"What da fuck you talkin' bout, G? Nothin's goin on. 'Cept dis crib be weak, man!" the Destroyer paced around the platform, surveying the décor and not finding it to His liking. "Hey! Where all da hunies?"  
  
"Um, hunies?" asked a smirking Xellos. Dynast was still speechless in shock.  
  
"Yeah, you know... chicks, foxes, HOs?"  
  
"Hmph. If I were a real woman, I'd be slightly offended," muttered Zelas.  
  
"Well, if you mean women, aside from Lord Beastmaster," he pointed to his mistress, "and Dynast on weekends," the priest smirked when the Supreme King took no notice at his jibe, "I am afraid that there are no women here for miles."  
  
"Daaaaamn..." Shabranigdo sighed, His evil intentions derailed. "This place be whack, yo."  
  
"But I believe the nearest town has loads of, um, 'hunies.' It's just a mere astral jump away, My Lord..." said Xellos, ever the helpful minion.  
  
"Cool. Yo, G. Thanks for getting me outta that, but I gotta split, a'ight?" Ruby Eye began to walk away, intent on finding some poontang.  
  
Dynast suddenly snapped out of his coma and shouted. "Lord Shabranigdo! Where are you going? Have you forgotten about your eternal battle with Cepheid and His forces?"  
  
"Man, I kicked that punk foo's AYASSS!!!" Boasted the Dark One with a snap of His fingers.   
  
"But, Lord Ruby Eye!" protested Dynast.  
  
"Yo, G! You be buggin me!" warned the Dark Lord.  
  
"S-sorry, Master!" squealed Dynast, dropping to his knees and kowtowing. "Forgive me, Master!"  
  
"That better." Shabranigdo then turned around and headed towards the exit. He suddenly stopped and turned to the other three. "One otha thing..."  
  
"Yes?" Dynast asked, standing up from his pathetic display.  
  
"Who my bitches?" asked the Evil One with a smirk.  
  
"What?" asked a confused Zelas.  
  
"I said, WHO MY BITCHES?"  
  
The three mazoku sweatdropped in unison.  
  
"I repeat: WHO MY BITCHES?" Shabranigdo lowered his cool-ass shades and glared at them with glowing eyes.  
  
The three sighed before muttering something under their breaths.  
  
"Wha was dat?" asked the Dark Lord, putting a hand to his ear. "I didn't hear ya!"  
  
"We yo bitches..." spoke the three in a whisper.  
  
"Louder! Who my bitches?"  
  
"We yo bitches..."   
  
"What? Who my bitches?"  
  
"We yo bitches," said the three in a louder tone.  
  
"I say, WHO my bitches?"  
  
"WE YO BITCHES!" shouted the thoroughly whipped trio.  
  
"Damn straight. And don't you forget it, or I cut yo sorry ass..." Shabranigdo turned from his subordinates and vanished into the Astral Plane.  
  
The three monsters stood in silence for a full minute before Zelas smacked Dynast upside the head.  
  
"Ow!" shouted the Supreme King, his hand going up to his smarting skull. "What was that for?!"  
  
"You had to go and release him, didn't you?" growled the Beastmaster. She shook her head in disgust before walking away. Xellos smirked and followed his mistress.  
  
"It isn't my fault!" Dynast sighed. "Curses... well, maybe His other pieces will be more... um... agreeable."  
  
The End.... 


End file.
